Why Would Anyone Buy Resident Evil: The Mercenaries?

All video game players are "once-through as quick as possible, never pick it up again" type players? If that's the case, no-one would be buying OoT 3D because they've played it before - I completed the ROM 8 times and still bought the 3DS version (my first purchase of OoT). And this morning I managed to catch the Hyrule Loach for the first time.

If, once I've finished Master Quest, the next time I stick the game in the 3DS I can't start from scratch, can't talk to the Deku Tree because he's dead, can't even have Mido prevent me from seeing the Deku Tree because I already have the shield and sword (unless I manage to get the shield eaten), and I have 100 Gold Skulltulas, there would be ZERO point in replaying it. Kill Ganon, watch the credits, because there's no treasure chest worth opening and the odds of the Hyrule Loach being bigger than 35 pounds are minuscule.

Oh, and if you're saying because this type of playability doesn't apply because scores only matter, a game that is based purely on scores is not worth playing. Believe it or not, not even Pacman, Frogger, nor Bomberman were score-based. Duckhunt wasn't score based. TMNT in the arcade wasn't score-based. Even most pinball machines are based on more than just scores - 3 balls at once is not a once-unlocked, always unlocked feature.

To put it simply, this game is coming off my Club Nintendo wishlist because it isn't worth the purchase price. If a non-played ROM became available, I probably wouldn't even play that because there is better media out there that can occupy my time.

That's right movie, TV, and games industry people! If something were "illegally" available (if you don't know the difference between illegal and unlawful you shouldn't be allowed to claim damages) that I had no interest in after finding out about a flaw, I still wouldn't be interested in it.

So, Capcom, let me list the people you cannot blame for low sales:

  • Pirates, ROM downloaders, etc. (Frogger has more playability and is cheaper).
  • People buying second-hand (most shops aren't allowing trade-ins).
  • Bankers, people spending less, and the recession (Ocarina of Time has been re-released several times, you can't even beat a game everyone has played?)
  • Ocarina of Time 3D (it isn't an attack-score-only-based game, so sales of it shouldn't impact sales to gamers interested in your genre).

As someone that has played HL2:Deathmatch (and similar games), Capcom won't get a "wow! A dozen NPCs and only one other human!" out of me. I'm clearly not in Capcom's target audience, because I just don't see the point of this game. No single-player re-playability, no real online or local multi-player, if the NPCs aren't even as hard to kill as an Antlion Guardian because it is all about scoring points is this just a fan-buy landfill-later game? A new-improved Game & Watch that is 100% predictable?

Is Revelations going to be this limited or should I stick with the plan and pre-order it next month? Oh, right, Capcom's decision on this game will have no impact on the next because they aren't in the same category, and I should completely believe that. This game is a 'don't buy' and Revelations is a 'wait several months after release and see'.

And for the record, I've never bought a second-hand game nor sold one, so the whole "secondary market" thing has absolutely no relevance to me. Good graphics? Give me a non-interactive life-like Mario painting a wall, with me sitting next to Luigi watching it dry. Add in the choice to choose a colour, without a "there is a layer of white 3 layers down, you've already got white" complaint from Mario, and DLC from Dulux, and you've just given me something that's re-playable when I'm bored that's realistic. NB: catapulting birds and watching paint dry should cost less than £1 on the 3DS.

Deathmatch is available for a few-dozen pennies and lets me play against multiple people. You don't start HL2 with a crowbar, because getting weapons is part of the experience. Getting 3 balls in a pinball machine increases the need for good reflexes. What does this game offer?

When you can only play a game once as-new, or (like DoA:Dimensons) you have to buy the game on release day otherwise you'll miss out on content, if the price doesn't reflect the restrictions then it is overpriced and bad value for money. Some of us realise when we're being short-changed, or downright ripped off. Lego: Pirates of the Caribbean 3D is also overpriced, it has huge chunks missing from the game making "story mode" more like "random non-linked events mode".

Wanna know why sales are down? The nearby stables are giving away bags of fully-rotted shit for free. That's right Watford Farmville players, I have a contact that can get you free shit! Capcom, good quality shit is in demand and your over-priced poor-quality shit just ain't worth wasting the time shovelling. It's aminopyralid all over again.